I remember one Sunday at church, my wife had on a dress that was modest while she was standing but when she sat down, it came above her knees. As I glanced over, I caught myself desiring my wife in church. As I looked around, I caught several other men doing the same. Now, if I’m desiring after my own wife, how am I going to expect the deacon not to lust after her? Also, how am I going to concentrate on receiving what God has for me today? You heard the old cliché, “Men think with their penis.” To some extent that’s true, let’s take Adam for example…

Adam was not deceived by the devil, Eve was. Then Eve encouraged Adam to sin (Gen. 3:1-13). Although Adam had an intimate relationship with God and knew the consequences of eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil; he still risked it all for Eve. Christian women you have great influence and play a major role in the coming to pass of God’s vision for a Christian man’s life.

Although we men play the independent role well, deep inside we realize that we cannot live without you. At times we may not see it but thank God HE did (Gen 2:18). This is why the majority of things we do revolve around you. From the weekly haircut to the clothes we wear, it's all done to impress the woman in our lives. I have never in my life seen a real man, get dressed up to impress his homies. From the corporate executive to the thug on the streets sellin’ weed; I tell you the truth, it all revolves around you. Let's be real, the reason the clubs let you in free until Midnight is because it's not a party unless you are there! So with that being said, you have a great influence that takes fervent prayer and godly wisdom to keep in check. Your beauty & personality was not given to you for selfish gain but instead to give God glory.

It's crucial that you stay attentive to what your flesh desires because you can easily become a "Help Me" instead of the ordained Help Meet you were created to be. Unlike Ester, who used her beauty to save a nation, "Help Mes" use their beauty to gain control, power and an advantage for themselves. This mentality birthed from the curse given to Eve in the garden of Eden.

The word desire or tesh-oo-kaw' in hebrew has a double definition in this text. The first meaning is the longing that "drives" a woman to want a husband and children. The second definition means to rule over. That is why later in Genesis 3:16 it reads “…but he will "rule" over you.” Satan's plays on the curse by painting a negative picture of being a help meet, and if your heart is not guarded against his attacks (Prov. 4:23 ), you eventually will despise your calling.

The word help meet or helper simply means, “one who helps”. So many woman think that the word "help" means being a slave, but remember its also used to describe God when He comes to our aid (Psalms 33:20, 115:9-11). As I stated before; Christian women you play a major role in the coming to pass of God’s vision for a Christian man’s life. God is Omniscient “all knowing”, He created you because He knew Adam would need help. Man would need woman, to help him fulfill God’s purpose for his life and once they became "one flesh", he'd recieve the favor needed to do so (Proverbs 18:22).

SELF ESTEEM
The main reason Christian women dress immodest is rooted in their self-esteem being low. To my Christian bruhs, our Christians sisters shouldn’t have to look outside the church for affirmation. My pastor would always hold us accountable about praising our sisters in the church. They should feel confortable about having healthy relationships with single men, who do not have hidden agendas. But instead these brothers are in their lives to be a priest, provide affirmation and protect them from the wolves who so often visit our churches searching for a quick hit! But sadly, this is usually not the case, and we wonder why our women get stereotyped for being freaky...

Those are our sisters and mothers that fool (Proverbs 10:18) is speaking on but I will admit, some of the blame falls on us (men) too. I often hear Christian men say, “I’ll never find a virtuous woman!” Brother you may have her now, but without affirmation and praise you will never know it. The virtuous woman is revered by all Christian men, however, until we realize she was praised, we may never see her in our lifetime.

I can personally testify to this. I remember in the early years of my marriage, telling my wife that she was not a virtuous women. Yeah, I got an ear full from her but stay with me. I passionately explained to her that she had everything covered in the text (Prov. 31:10-31), except I did not praise her and my daughter didn't call her blessed. As you can tell, I am speaking in the past tense because she is now a "virtuous" queen. My daughter calls her blessed and I have literally gotten on my knees before her and praised God for letting our paths cross. It took me some time to get where I needed to be spiritually for her to evolve into who she already was. I tell you the truth, I would not be the man that I am without her by my side. Please selah on this my sisters. Somehow we've mistaken a well behaved and even modestly dressed woman for the virtuous one. They are NOT the same. Instead they are often grown church girls. Shallow in their doctrine and application and still operating on worldly relationship principles. You are not a viruous woman by default (due to salvation in Christ Jesus or church attendance). It's truly a process governed by God.

So men of God, it's time to "man up" to our responsibility. A diamond won’t shine until you polish it. In other words, we must labor with our sisters (the same way they labor with us) until they become who they were called to be. Its extremely difficult for a woman of God to reach her full potential in Christ if she’s not affirmed and praised

ACCOUNTABILITY

I remember attending a "Holy" Hip Hop conference in 2004, sadly the attire of many young women in attendance was far from holy. Stomachs were showing, painted on jeans, form fitting shirts and skirts. GIVE A BROTHA A CHANCE! I thought I was at Fleshnic. Even my man Nealreal noticed it and just shook his head. No one who spoke at this conference said a word about the way some of these women were dressed.

I was praying that one of the hostess at the entrance would pull these immodestly dressed sisters aside before they entered, but that never happened. When will the "mature" sisters in the body step up and mentor these young ladies? Women similar to those in the book of Titus who aren't afraid of conflict and willing to speak uncompromised truth in love.

In the book of Hosea, chapter 4, the priests were responsible for instructing the people in God's law but because they spurned this task, people were destroyed from a lack of knowledge. Likewise, women you are responsible for instructing the younger sisters in the ways of our Lord. If this ball continues to stay on the ground, many generations will be destroyed. And as it is written; God rejected the priests and ignored their children for failing to teach His laws (Hosea 4:6). Selah.

INTERIOR DESIGN
Many Christian women ponder why they keep meeting the wrong man. Well let's start by taking a good look at your wardrobe. Wearing immodest attire can misrepresent who you are inside, thus soliciting improper attention from unsaved men.

Remember, out of all the attributes King Lemuel used to describe the virtuous woman, none were regarding her appearance. Let's review Proverbs 31:10-31

In Proverbs 31:30 states, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised!” Lemuel was king and almost certainly had many beautiful women, but he coveted the one that was virtuous. Women of God, please meditate on this. Stop exposing your "goodies", exude patience, until a man of God that is worthy steps up and marries you. Fear God and trust HIM in sending you your husband, not your body tissue.

LISTEN TO THE HOLY SPIRIT
In 1990 I started lifting weights to impress the women but now it’s for my wife. Even after we got married, I still wore tank tops and physique flattering gear. I would always get on her about what was modest but I never looked at myself. I stopped wearing tank tops in public after I was convicted by the responses I was getting from women. I myself had become a walking stumbling block. So I stopped wearing clothes that show off my physique. Often you hear people say, “I can’t help it if my clothes fit my body the way they do.” I disagree. Certain clothes are designed to form to the shape of your body. Nowadays, to dress in style is to be immodest.

There’s a way to dress "fly" without compromising God’s Word. Women if you're tired of being treated as sex objects, stop dressing like one. You wouldn't wear a cop's uniform if you weren't one. Let's dead the visual "test drives" without commitment (marriage). Only then is a man deserving of a ride that he will never in his right mind want to stop. Ladies I pray that you will take heed to the voice of the Holy Spirit and let Him select your attire for the day. Remember, we are called to be a peculiar people (1 Peter 2:9 KJV). If we look no different from the world, what example are we setting for them to follow?

Blessings,
Your Brother in Christ - Maji